Volume
26 No. 4
Learning
the Truth About my Roots
by Bill Gowey
I grew
up not knowing that I was native American. It wasn't until
I was 45 that I finally learned the truth about my roots.
My mother was ashamed to tell me that my father was Yaqui
and that her husband, the man I believed was my father,
was actually my stepfather. He raised me as his own and
made my mother promise never to tell me that he was not
my father.
While
I didn't know I had Native roots, I did feel different
about myself. My brothers were blond and blue-eyed yet
I was dark with brown eyes.
I
grew up in a troubled family. There was a lot of alcoholism
in my family.
Mom and Dad
wanted us kids to go to church and so I attended church
my whole childhood but my parents never went. After several
years of being dropped off at church, my siblings and
I figured out that our parents used church as their babysitter.
They used to give us five cents each for offering, so
we figured they got a good babysitter for 15 cents.
There was a
lot of drinking in our home, so we were around alcohol
most of our lives. It was easy for me to start drinking
at an early age.
As a teenager,
I walked away from the church and began drinking a lot.
I was trying to "out drink" my conscience. I
had a strong conscience that kept telling me the things
I was doing were wrong, but I didn't want to hear that,
so I drank and did a lot of drugs trying to override my
conscience and feelings of guilt for the things I was
doing, but I never could.
As I grew up
in the church, I had always heard the good news that Jesus,
God's Son came into the world to save sinners. I grew
up hearing and accepting the gospel. But I'd never made
it personal.
I lived in Northern
California working as a logger and spending most of my
free time partying. Almost everything we did was based
around drinking and drugs. In 1978, I met the lady who
would become my wife. In June of 1981 we had a daughter,
Sarena. I was still drinking and doing drugs but was becoming
sick of that lifestyle and all the things that went along
with it.
One day I was
in my driveway sitting on the tailgate of my pickup getting
stoned. My wife and young daughter were in the house.
I started thinking, how can I tell my daughter not to
drink and do drugs if I am doing them? My mother and father
had told me not to drink, smoke and a list of other things
but they did everything that they told me was wrong to
do. I knew I could not do this.
At this time
we met a couple that were Christians. They had bought
a restaurant where I went everyday before work. They would
talk about Jesus and pray for people. I wasn't too crazy
about that, but she wa a good cook so I kept coming in,
sometimes with a bad hangover. I did not know that they
were praying for my family and me. But I did know that
they loved us and accepted us as we were.
At the same
time I was becoming sick of my lifestyle. They started
asking us if we would like to go to church with them.
So one morning we showed up at their church. I t was during
the last days of the Jesus Movement and there were a lot
of druggies and people I used to party with who attended
that church. These were people with real problems who
were seeking after God in the midst of their struggles.
When I walked
into that church I knew it was right. I gave my life back
to Jesus and He touched me in a very powerful way. He
delivered me from drugs and alcohol. God took away all
the desire; it was like I didn't have to do those things
anymore. He healed me and set me free. From that time
on, I stopped drinking and started being the kind of father
that my daughter needed. But it was only the beginning.
I have now been off drugs and alcohol for over 24 years.
In addition
to Sarena, in the years that followed, God gave us a son
and an adopted Navajo daughter.
Jan and I stayed
in that church for about 10 years and then moved to Montana
as part of a team that was planting a new church in a
small rural town. We lived there for four years and during
that time we went through a three-year discipleship/ministry
training program.
During our time
there, God called us to move to Flagstaff, Arizona, and
we joined a church that ministered to the Hopi people,
a ministry called Restoration Ministries. Two years later
the pastor was moved and Jan and I took over the ministry
and changed the name to Reztoration. We continue to work
on the Hopi Nation and have also begun to minister to
other traditional Native people of Northern Arizona. We
pastor a Native church in Flagstaff and also do work on
the Hopi and Navajo Nations.
We use our work
projects as points of reconciliation. We don't require
people we help to go to church or listen to stories of
our faith. The only conditions we ask are that families
work together with our team when possible. We are presently
working on building new porches, roofs, painting and general
fix-up jobs.
Throughout the
year Reztoration Ministries has openings for people to
join us in our service to traditional people. Weekend
work projects and events for the youth are a few of the
things that we could use help with.
My mom had always
told me that we had no Native blood in our family. But
she did change her story on September 13, 2001. She had
cancer so we were there with her. She was not sure how
much longer she would live. This along with the fact that
Jan and I had been involved in Native ministry for a few
years is why she finally changed her story about who my
father was and about having native blood.
I thank God
for the doors He has opened for me to minister His love
through being part of the pow-wow community and for the
healing that He has done in me. He has also given me many
opportunities to share the love of Jesus with people in
the pow-wow community. I have even been allowed to do
opening prayer at some of the local pow-wows. Some of
the people will introduce me as their pastor even though
they never come to my church.
One of the things
that touched me the most during this time was when a Hopi
family that we had been ministering to gifted me things
for my outfit and really encouraged me to dance. They
thought it was a good thing for me to do as a mixed blood
pastor. This couple gave their hearts to Jesus at an event
that I was dancing at. They both loved the Christian songs
and they were blessed to see Native Christian dancing
to our Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ.
