Volume
25 No. 6
From
Pain to Purpose
by Marianne
Jones
When Karen Meekis
first heard about a support group for survivors of sexual
abuse, she jumped at the opportunity.
"I felt like it
was my last resort or I was going to go crazy. I wanted
healing so bad I was prepared to fight for it. It was
a miracle that this service was available to me."
From the age
of three Karen, and her two older brothers, grew up in
a series of foster homes in Oregon where Karen's brothers
were beaten viciously and Karen was sexually abused.
"I had to watch
my brothers getting beaten. They'd line them up and we
had to watch.
I was terrified
of men. I used to hide in the fields to get their stares
off me."
Karen's worst
fear came true when she and her brothers were split up
and placed in separate homes.
"I thought, 'I'm
never going to see my brothers again.' I did a lot of
grieving."
When Karen was
ten, she and her brothers were moved into a Christian
foster family.
"The moment we
walked into their home, I knew I was safe."
After so many
years of abuse and changing homes, it wasn't easy for
Karen and her brothers to adjust.
"We all had a hard
time because we had known so much. We had a hard time
bonding or connecting. We were all so afraid we were going
to be split up again."
Two years later,
their foster parents asked the children if they wanted
to be adopted.
"I said yes for
all of us. We'd never had a Mom and Dad. We were afraid
of adults. For the first time I started to feel more normal."
Watching her
parents and their commitment to God made an impression
on Karen. She loved their church, True Vine Christian
Fellowship in McMinnville, Oregon. Gradually, through
the example of the Christians around her, she came to
faith in Christ.
While still a
teenager, Karen began going on short-term mission trips
to Chicago, Mexico and Canada, where she shared her story
through words and drama. Coming to places like Grassy
Narrows, Deer Lake and Thunder Bay was like coming home
for Karen, a Kiowa Indian.
"It was in Canada
that I had my first contact with native people.
I really connected. I thought, 'Hey, these are my people!'"
Karen began looking
for a more lasting ministry, and found it when Keith and
Lois Repman from Impact North Ministries asked her to
come to Sandy Lake to help start a Christian School. After
two years teaching in Sandy Lake, Karen married Clarence
Meekis, an Oji-Cree originally from Deer Lake. Karen and
Clarence lived in Red Lake for four years before Clarence
decided to come to Confederation College in Thunder Bay
to study civil engineering.
"Clarence and
I would get asked to sing and share our stories at local
native ministries. It was there that I learned about sexual
abuse support groups at Ishaawin Family Resources in Thunder
Bay."
Karen began attending
a support group in the fall of 2003.
"The first time,
I hit a wall. I couldn't go any further. I quit going
for four weeks, then asked if I could come back. The second
time around I really worked at it.
There have been
so many breakthroughs, like finding my identity as a native
person, as someone who has had no childhood, and letting
God fill that hole one part at a time."
"Before, when
I shared my testimony in Sandy Lake and Red Lake, people
would ask me if I had ever had counseling for the sexual
abuse. It challenged me. I could share my story, but I
couldn't go any deeper. I'm so much closer to God now,
and more open to express what I'm feeling. I have been
able to forgive my abusers.
"Pursuing the support
groups has given me a whole new perspective. The focus
isn't just on my pain and hurt anymore. It's more on God-on
walking into the light."
Sharing her experiences
with her husband Clarence has brought the two of them
closer together. Karen is convinced that "God is gonna
use me in some way for His glory.
"Jesus has filled
so many gaps and holes for me, I just feel like there's
more hope and purpose to my life than ever before."
Marianne
Jones is a freelance writer living in Thunder Bay. Her
work has appeared in Wawatay News, Indian Life, Canadian
Living and The Globe and Mail.
